Standards of Appearance

*edit* not my best entry, more of a rant

Having been to India often, I am starting to understand the expectations of physical appearance in Indian women. It’s quite strange to me and I think about it almost daily. I figured it was something I should discuss here.

Here is my thesis: In a society where physical upkeep is cheap and readily available, there are certain expectations in appearance that just about every Indian woman upholds.

I like to think that I generally do a decent job of putting myself together, and in American standards, sometimes I do an above-average job of putting myself together. But something about Indian women really makes me feel like a slob. I don’t iron my clothes… I’ve never really found it necessary, and ok, my nails are rarely manicured, I paint them myself and keep the color on until it all chips away. I have crazy curly hair, so with humidity, it’s mostly frizzy and I never like my hair tied up so it’s kind of just a mane that I tame with loads of products that usually stop working mid-day. Every now and then I wear a pair of heels that look a little too chewed up and you will usually find me with my favorite school bag even though there are pen marks all over the bottom of it. And as for personal keep up, I will go to the salon when I can and if I feel like it, so yea usually my face doesn’t have a post-facial glow and my eyebrows are not perfect arches.

Here, if you live in a decent middle class household, someone washes your clothes daily, someone presses your shirts daily, an eyebrow lady, waxing lady, and a god-knows-what- else-lady is at your disposal 24/7, a bag can be fixed in a matter of minutes, a pair of jeans can be hemmed for a price that converts to under a dollar, and shoes can be cleaned and polished right before you leave the house. A small hole in a shirt is unacceptable, cracked nail polish is untidy, and frizzy hair demands reprimand. It’s not like most Indian women are rocking the finest designers and the latest trends. Nor do they necessarily wear clothes they way they are intended to be worn: girls often buy clothes one size larger than they should be; dresses fall at an awkward above-the-knee rather than a mid-thigh; cinching belts sit at hips rather than the waist; jeans are always belted with the front of t shirts tucked into them so you can see the belt brand over the jeans; Indian jewelry is worn daily even with Western attire; preferred heels are oddly kitten heels even though the girls are so short here; silver is mixed with gold; and nails are always incredibly long and rounded (even toenails!). Despite this, all garments look as though they have just come out of the store, colors are perfectly matching, and whites are bleached. Every night a girl wipes off her make up (if she wears any – most don’t), every day she coats herself in lotion or powder, she washes her face at least three times a day, and washes her feet as soon as she gets home. No ripped jeans, flip flops, sloppy buns, smeared eyeliner, not matching accessories, tattered purses, stray bra straps, or dare I say it, low-cut shirts. Despite the mud, heat, and humitidy, you will not see a girl sweat, have frizzy hair, or dirt on her clothing.

And not to leave out guys. They are just as proper too! Their hair is always done, shoes are always polished, their JEANS (not just their slacks) have a crease in them, their shirts are tucked in, and if they had a rough hour or two in the heat, they will shower and start over.

I mean, I have nice things but I’ve never been one to preserve the quality of what I own. If I spent money on it, I'm going to use it often and probably never get rid of it. I will never be the girl that has a closet of shoes that she wears only on occasions. Every pair of heels I own has been abused by the cobble-stone streets of DC and Baltimore, and despite that they look like my puppy had at them, I still wear them to work. Here, the quality of everything Indians own and wear is at its best at all times.

I know that when I’m in Bombay, no matter what I pull out of my suitcase to put on, it’s always almost-right. There have been so many occasions where my grandmother, aunts, once-removed aunts have sent me back to my room to change my clothes – and not because I dress indecently – because I don’t dress well enough. Your jeans are torn, that shirt is wrinkled, can you tie up your hair, do you have any other shoes besides flip flops? Why don’t you wash your feet? Only recently have I started brining nice clothes to India. Before my mother would deliberately make my sister and I take older clothes because the dhobis (clothes washers) really violently hand wash your clothes so colors fade and fabric weakens immediately.

The most contradicting part of it is that Indians aren't known to be the most hygienic people. We all know in the US, Indian immigrants are the subject of every body odor joke - and with justification. This country, while beautiful, can be pretty disgusting. It is entirely polluted and few care to fix it because as long as the inside of their house and car are spotless, what difference does it make to them? Perhaps this is why the best vacation destinations are usually places where Indians can admire "the cleanliness." Consider a place like Bombay: God help you if you ever have to visit a public restroom and during monsoon season; enjoy watching someone pick your dinner's vegetables from the mud-soaked and fly-infested market. Passing gas, picking noses, and using cologne in preference to deodorant (which still has not become mainstream here) is pretty normal for the generation above mine, and some in my own. Not to generalize, but you have to admit it's kind of true!

I can’t decide if the proper and particular-ness in middle and high class India comes from the influence of the British, the availability of cheap labor and cheap maintenance, or the need to show distinction from lower classes of people. Further, I can’t tell if it’s me who is too casual or if it is all Americans. I would not even wear half of the stuff I see my friends and cousins wear here, but with the poise and style that they do it in, I feel like they are better dressed than I am.

Anyways, not sure if I made much sense here. Just had to point out the quality of physical appearance in this city and in the country in general. I think the ability of the Indian people to appear well put together in cities where soot and mud are your daily companions is something of native abilities and well-practiced tradition. The value of impeccable cleanliness is unfairly high in a country where only the natives can figure out how to maintain it in such difficult conditions.